Starting Over

I am the "Princess of the Midnight Workout". I invite you to come back here weekly and follow along my weight loss journey. I will update every Monday evening and share with you the struggles, achievements, tips and recipes from the week before, as well as set new goals for the week ahead. This first post is just an introduction. I am the mother of 4 wonderful boys. They are 17, 16, 14 and 5 years old. My 5 year-old is always telling me that I am a mommy, not a princess and that I don't need to put on my makeup. I do most of my workout late night and / or early morning while this child is sleeping. So, I will be a Princess in my own time. ;~)  I am a cosmetology student with goals for graduating by the end of December or beginning of January.

I recently applied to be the next Mamavation Mom. I am so excited about this, and really hope I am chosen. I love to be a part of a group, and I feel like I'm a great motivator - so this sounds like the perfect opportunity for a not so perfect girl.
I have tried to lose weight on my own many times with little to no luck. It wasn't that many years ago (12 or 13 isn't many, right?), that I had the exact opposite problem. I battled with both anorexia and bulimia. So that's where I'll begin my story.

It started when I was in high school. I was the short fat girl that didn't have many friends. Who can blame the other kids. Besides being awkward looking, I was also hard to get to know. My parents began their whole break up, get back together, break up, get back together and repeat cycle so I was moving around. A lot! To give you an idea, I went to 3 different high schools - switching between them 5 different times - and dropped out about half way through senior year. In an effort to try  to fit in with the "in crowd" I knew I needed to lose weight. When mom refused to buy me diet pills I just stopped eating. That worked, but not well enough. So I started taking laxatives and using the handle of my tooth brush to gag myself and vomit. That worked! I continued this behavior for many years, only stopping for the months that I was pregnant. In 1998 I hit rock bottom, and a friend helped me get the help I needed to begin my recovery. It was a long hard road, but I made it.

                                             New Years Eve 1998. Midway through recovery.

I made it through, but not without long term consequences. As a result of my addiction, I now have difficulty losing weight. I have "digestive issues" due to the damage caused by the laxatives. I struggle daily with the fact that I "know what works" yet I know that I don't want to go back to that lifestyle. Can you believe I actually thought I was obese in this picture?

I have been told that my body is in survival mode. And the lifestyle I currently live doesn't help that. So as I mentioned, "digestive issues", I am not able to eat during the day when I have something to do or somewhere to be. If I eat I will have to spend several hours in the restroom. Yes, I have tried to create a list of trigger foods. No, I can't pinpoint anything. Sometimes what will trigger this time won't next time and vice verse. So survival mode. My body stores more fat than others, just in case we're going back to the old way of life.

And that's why I'm here. I will find something that works for me. I will help other moms with their struggles. I will lose weight!

~ Princess